The Dreaded Guestlist

The guestlist is always the biggest hurdle to overcome when wedding planning.
"Who do you want to have there? How much can afford to spend per person?"

Not to mention the personal politics of
"Who is going to be upset if you don't invite them? Well, so and so invited us to their wedding...."

My family is pretty big as far as families go. I could easily invite 200 of JUST family, and another 100 friends. However, I absolutely cannot afford a wedding of that size. And honestly, having gone through the enormous wedding the first time, I'd prefer a smaller more intimate wedding where we actually get a chance to talk with everyone.

So where do we make the cuts?

FAMILY

Depending on how far up the family tree i go, we have three tiers of family:

• Immediate family = parents, brothers and sisters and their families, and grand parents (27 people)
• Extended family = parents' brothers and sisters and their families (+56 people, 83 total)
• Super extended family = grandparents' brothers and sisters and their families (+97, 180 total)

To be fair, the super extended family is all my family. And to be truthful, I love my super extended family too, but in my adult life, my super extended family doesn't know me as an individual. It's my family and my extended family that I turn to when I need support. They're the ones I visit, and they're the ones that I celebrate with.

So that first cut is relatively painless: Keep it to immediate and extended family

83 invited - 20 people who probably can't make it = 63 family

FRIENDS

Here's where it gets really tough:

1. Absolutely must invite = lifelong friends (18 people)
2. Family friends = lifelong friends of my parents that are like extended family to me (15 people)
3. Good friends = friends we've kept in touch with through college and high school (29 people)
4. Additional friends = people we spend a decent amount of time with (32 people)
   

To make it a little easier. We're planning an informal picnic later on for just friends which would include Friend Set #4.

• A) Minimum friend scenario = Family + Friend Set #1 = 81 people
• B) Family friend scenario = A + Friend Set #2 - 6 people who probably can't make it = 90 people
• C) MORE friends scenario =B + Friend Set #3 - 9 people who probably can't make it = 110 people

So then now I have a choice of 81, 90, or 110 people.

If you estimate that the cost per person for just food is $25+ 20% gratuity = $25/person, that's a difference of $2000, +$250, or +$750.

Here's where I'm stuck.

Is $750 worth being surrounded by more friends? Do I want to be surrounded by more friends? I just don't know...