The Dreaded Guestlist

The guestlist is always the biggest hurdle to overcome when wedding planning.
"Who do you want to have there? How much can afford to spend per person?"

Not to mention the personal politics of
"Who is going to be upset if you don't invite them? Well, so and so invited us to their wedding...."

My family is pretty big as far as families go. I could easily invite 200 of JUST family, and another 100 friends. However, I absolutely cannot afford a wedding of that size. And honestly, having gone through the enormous wedding the first time, I'd prefer a smaller more intimate wedding where we actually get a chance to talk with everyone.

So where do we make the cuts?

FAMILY

Depending on how far up the family tree i go, we have three tiers of family:

• Immediate family = parents, brothers and sisters and their families, and grand parents (27 people)
• Extended family = parents' brothers and sisters and their families (+56 people, 83 total)
• Super extended family = grandparents' brothers and sisters and their families (+97, 180 total)

To be fair, the super extended family is all my family. And to be truthful, I love my super extended family too, but in my adult life, my super extended family doesn't know me as an individual. It's my family and my extended family that I turn to when I need support. They're the ones I visit, and they're the ones that I celebrate with.

So that first cut is relatively painless: Keep it to immediate and extended family

83 invited - 20 people who probably can't make it = 63 family

FRIENDS

Here's where it gets really tough:

1. Absolutely must invite = lifelong friends (18 people)
2. Family friends = lifelong friends of my parents that are like extended family to me (15 people)
3. Good friends = friends we've kept in touch with through college and high school (29 people)
4. Additional friends = people we spend a decent amount of time with (32 people)
   

To make it a little easier. We're planning an informal picnic later on for just friends which would include Friend Set #4.

• A) Minimum friend scenario = Family + Friend Set #1 = 81 people
• B) Family friend scenario = A + Friend Set #2 - 6 people who probably can't make it = 90 people
• C) MORE friends scenario =B + Friend Set #3 - 9 people who probably can't make it = 110 people

So then now I have a choice of 81, 90, or 110 people.

If you estimate that the cost per person for just food is $25+ 20% gratuity = $25/person, that's a difference of $2000, +$250, or +$750.

Here's where I'm stuck.

Is $750 worth being surrounded by more friends? Do I want to be surrounded by more friends? I just don't know...

Budget Saver #1: Don't go overboard on the ring!

"The old adage of spending two months’ salary on an engagement ring is no more than an arbitrary guideline established by the jewelry and diamond industry."

How true it is.

Try, try, try not to get sucked in by the pretty sparklies. I know...it's easy to be mesmerized by their sparkle. It's easy to want friends and families to ooh and ahhh over your ring. But there are some serious factors you should consider when choosing a ring.

If all goes well, you will be wearing this ring FOREVER.
If you're anything like me, the thought of taking off my ring puts me in a mild state of cardiac arrest. what if i lose it? what if it drops down the drain? So, choose a ring design that compliments how active you are with your hands on a daily basis. For you active gals, think what a honkin' big diamond is going to feel like on your hand 24/7. Lower profile rings won't get in the way as much. If you have a life of leisure, well then....by all means opt for the 3 carat princess cut solitaire.

[Personally, I hate when ring turn around on my finger because of the weight. And I really hate not being able to slide my hands into my pockets without the setting snagging on something.]

Think of everything else you could be putting that money towards.
A house? A car? Nest egg for your future offspring? For those of you that opt for a diamond solitaire ring...boy, that diamond is probably more than i want to spend on my entire wedding. Just a quick search on Mondera.com provided the following scale for similar quality diamonds (D, VS1):

• 0.5 carat round = $1,739
• 1 carat round = $8,223
• 1.5 carat round = $23,225
• 2 carat round = $37,223

And that's without any side stones.

Who else but you will know how good that diamond is?
After the initial "ooh, you're engaged! let me see the ring!" when will anyone look that closely at your ring...especially close enough to discern those teeny flaws in the diamond with the naked eye? NEVER. From VS1 (Very Slightly Included) all the way up to IF (Internally Flawless), the inclusions in the diamond are really only visible under10x magnification! Only at SI do you start to see the inclusions with the naked eye. But look at the difference in price:
E, SI2, Very Good = $974
E, SI1, Very Good = $1,134
E, VS2, Very Good = $1,353
E, IF, Very Good = $2,339

And regarding color, straight from the horse's mouth:

"Diamonds graded D through F are naturally the most valuable and desirable because of their rarity. Such diamonds are a treat for the eyes of anyone. But you can still obtain very attractive diamonds that are graded slightly less than colorless. And diamonds graded G through I show virtually no color that is visible to the untrained eye.

And while a very, very faint hint of yellow will be apparent in diamonds graded J through M, this color can often be minimized by carefully selecting the right jewelry in which to mount your diamond. Keep in mind that, while most people strive to buy the most colorless diamond they can afford, there are many people who actually prefer the warmer glow of lower-color diamonds." -Mondera.Com

Just think of it this way, your diamond will have character...like you!


What's your favorite color?
"A diamond is forever." "Diamonds are white like the purity of our love." Using diamonds for wedding and engagements was something dreamed up by De Beers. Why not consider these other classic gemstones for your ring, like rubies, emeralds, or sapphires?



By all means, choose a ring that makes you happy, and makes you feel schwoopy and romantic, but by taking a level-headed approach, you can save quite a bit of money and still get a wonderful ring that will be a constant reminder of you of how lucky you are to be marrying that special someone. The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

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test! by doris