I dunno...
If you've been following this blog at all, you know I've contradicted myself several times with regards to who I want to have attending my wedding. But after talking with a girlfriend about her wedding, and getting my first few RSVPs asking to bring their boyfriend/girlfriend, I'm setting a new rule (and hopefully it sticks). For my side of the guest list...
If you're not married or engaged, your +1 has to go on a waitlist. If space opens up, I'll think about extending additional invitations. I am making an exception for family...they can bring a +1.
I've had a few girlfriends who have been outstandingly thoughtful and actually volunteered to not invite their boyfriends before I even sent out invitations! In the interest of keeping our budget in check, I took them up on it. And then I realized, I really didn't want to invite people that I hadn't spent time with -- strangers, to my wedding. This wedding is very personal to me, and I can't imagine celebrating it with strangers.
Boyfriends/girlfriends fall into a huge grey area with innumerable shades of grey. I don't want to be in the position where I'm judging how serious a relationship is, and whether it warrants an invite or not. Who am I to say that an engaged couple that's been together 3 years is more serious than a couple that has been living together for 3 years and just hasn't chosen to get married? If the couple's been together for a while, then I've probably hung out with both people often enough that I would probably be okay inviting both... But then the situation becomes overly complex and inevitably you hurt someone's feelings when you invite some but not all. A rule has to be in place, and it has to be applied across the board.
Additional considerations:
- If everyone brings a +1, we are going to far exceed the number of guests our reception site can accommodate.
- My side of the guest list outnumbers my fiance's 3:1. I need to keep additional guests at a minimum.
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